The Second Chance!!!!

He was sitting on his bed in his room, thinking about the most painful method to commit suicide.......................

                                                                      When in distress or when depressed ,people often use the phrase "LIFE SUCKS". He was one of those countless maniacs who were trying to run away from the reality of life. He depended on everything which he thought would relax his pressure and bring some peace to his mind. He drank, he smoked , shouted at his loved ones,complained about almost everything that has happened to him and cursed everything, both living and non living around him.Yes he was on the verge of losing someone who was precious to him .

    But was he doing the right thing? 

    Even for him the answer was a big emphatic "NO"!!!

                                                           He had everything and still has most of them.It was his deeds which brought him to this situation.He was an above average student at school,a dear son to his loving parents,a dear brother to his wonderful brother,best friend for most of his friends and the best part was that  he loved himself a lot. Then what made him the pathetic individual he was today? It was his deeds.... his unforgivable deeds!!!

                                                                   He always disbelieved his thoughts.He was always a guy struck by inferiority complex. He always had a feeling that his actions were wrong. He never made the right decisions at the right time.After entering his college life he wanted to be noted in the campus.It happened, but of course in the negative sense. He was previously addicted to dance and music. There he got addicted so many other "stuff". He depended on many "great friends" who added to his misery and made him a nerdy loser at college. But even to his conscience, he was to be blamed ,as no one forced him to be a nerdy loser. It was his choice or his stubbornness to  always go against his Dad's & Mom's will ,because he thought that he was admitted at a college which he did not like.

                                               Actually there was nothing wrong with the college,it was his hallucination that the college was a prison and that he was a prisoner.
                       
                            He reacted in the worst possible ways and actually became a prisoner , a prisoner who was given a life sentence for his negativity by his own conscience.

                                                 In between all these melodrama he fell in love with a girl, who changed his life. She came to his life at the worst possible scenario and improved it with her love.He started depending on her for everything in his life.But still his past haunted him. When it came to a marriage proposal at her home his past was recalled by her parents and she was forced to let him go. He tried all ways possible to wipe out his past but was not successful. The guy who never prayed with his heart started praying or rather begging to God to bring her back. 

                             He was standing at the height of helplessness ,regretting the unchangeable past ,confused to the core in the present and staring at an inevitable future.........

                                                  His parents were also against him even though his Dad who always had belief in him, in spite of his deeds was supporting him. His Dad asked him to live but he had other ideas.He had decided to end his life. He was sitting on his bed in his room and was thinking about the most painful method to commit suicide.........

                                            Suddenly he was startled by a loud music.....it was the ringtone of his mobile. He had forgotten to switch it off before his final act. He cursed himself and took it on his hand to switch it off.But he was amazed to see that it was her who was calling him. With a shivering thumb he pressed the accept button.From the other end it was her sound.He was very happy to hear her sound as it had been a longtime since he had heard from her.She told him that things have become okay at her home and her parents and relatives have agreed upon accepting him and they wanted to talk with his parents.

He was overjoyed on hearing this and the only thing that came out of his mouth was "I LOVE YOU DEAR".

                His whole past flashed before his eyes that night. He promised to himself and God that he will never repeat his mistakes.Now he had to convince his Mom,which was not an easy task but definitely possible.

Because....
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Life has given him a second chance !!!!!! And he was prepared to use it in the right way.........And he was sure that he will succeed !!!!!!

 Life does that to everyone. It is us who make it prosperous or ruin it.Its all about us ,our choices,our decisions,our perceptions and our attitude.If everything is positive we will never have to use the phrase "LIFE SUCKS"

The Struggle for her smile........

I am typing this blog as i have nothing else to do,no one to talk to and because i feel like typing something to screw time. So expect nothing.Here we go.......

                                       1st year students in my college bus seldom got a chance to be seated while going back home. I was one of them,so  i was standing like for 15 minutes from the time the bus started from our college.I saw many of my friends,yet to be friends, seniors etc...involved in  various activities like chatting,cracking jokes on each other,commenting on first years etc etc etc. 
                     It was my 8th or 9th month at the college and i was yet to find a proper friend in my bus to whom i can talk. Still i was trying to listen to one my friends ,who was talking some crap  in which i was least interested.But my eyes were searching for her.She was the best friend of a good friend of mine and i was madly in love with her.Like any other normal guy,i never got the courage to express my feelings towards her and as in every typical love story i hardly knew her. 
                                                        In spite of being my friend's best friend we hardly had talked to each other other than once.And that was when our college was suspended suddenly due to some strike and we were offered no means of transport to go home. We walked together that day for some really tiring distance and I didn't find anything special in her.The only useful info i got that day was her name and that she was staying very near to my home.So,now when my eyes were scanning the bus for her ,my mind was cursing itself for not collecting any useful info about her.

I was standing just one row behind the driver's seat and i knew that she was some where in the back portion of the bus.I was too short and tiny-built to have a glance of the back portion of the bus through the gigantic figures standing in front of me .So i gave up my attempts of seeing her and tried to listen to my so called friend's crappy talk,just adding some "Yeah"s and "Is it ?"s to the conversation.

But my mind was hooked up in the words of  my friend who once told me "Dumbo, you don't know how to talk to a girl or how to impress a girl.If you continue to be like this then forget about getting some care back from any girl in this world". I was shell shocked when i heard those words from him and it really did increase my fear in expressing my feelings to her.So i was almost sure that i will never be able to say anything to her.But still i found this very soothing ......watching her through the crowd and seeing her smile.

Suddenly the bus stopped and 'inertia of motion' worked on us.We were thrown forward.It interrupted my thoughts and also my friend's crappy talk.Our bus had stopped to unload it's first bunch of aspiring engineers at their home.Then the bus started again letting the  'inertia of rest' to work on us and we were thrown backwards.Actually till the end of our 1st year we were all really angry with our bus driver for constantly subjecting us to 'the laws of physics'.
                          
                            The crowd inside the bus thinned after two or three such 'unloadings' and still i couldn't get a glance of her.Then after some more unloadings one of my seniors offered me a seat by his side which i politely denied and asked my irritating crap talking friend to be seated.After that my friend lost interest in me and started bugging my senior.And with a wicked smile i started searching for my girl again.

Finally after a big session of scanning i saw her.I saw her sitting with her friend and chatting .She smiled while she talked and she was looking very pretty.She was wearing a blue salwar that day.I kept on looking at her.I kept looking at her till she got down at her stop.She never looked at me that day.

I felt lost!!! I felt like i am all alone in that bus.I went  home with a heavy heart but still with a glimmer of hope that maybe she would look at me the next day........

                                        But guess what people,after 2 months i proposed to her. She agreed to be my girlfriend a month after the proposal.We have celebrated more than 6 years of  love, fought through many obstacles together and continuing that.But still i remember this small incident about her.
                     
                                               Yeah rite..........now all of you who have read this would be angry with me,calling me names.......yes i know this is a silly matter or a matter of minimal priority,waste of time or whatever......but those guys who have had a similar incident in their lives will definitely think my way ..............This blog is like a reminder of such sweet and small incidents in our life which may sound silly to others and which we might have forgotten  to share even with our loved ones!!!!!!

And yes this one is for her...........as i have never shared this with her!!!!!!!  :)